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our philosophy

The SoulPlay Guide to
Playful Times
How to Cultivate a Yes Culture

Get curious & clear

Asking for a hug BEFORE hugging is awesome. Saying “I like you and I’d like to get to know you” is hot.
Asking “What are you up for?” is even hotter.
Finding out what level of play the person is up for BEFORE engaging is awesome.

Listen for the “Oh Yes”!

Yes means yes, everything else means no or time to clarify.
Not doing anything until you hear, see, and feel a “YES!” is how we do it at SoulPlay.

The only constant is change

Just because someone says yes once doesn’t mean they’ll say it again. Changing one’s mind in the middle is totally valid. Saying “Thank you for taking care of yourself” when they say “no” will blow them away.

Avoid regrets

Want to avoid regrets? Listen for the “no”, the “maybe”, the “I’m not sure inside yourself and with your partner. Some people have a hard time reading body language, use your words. If you want to stop, saying “stop” is often a good way...that’s a good time to stop and check-in.

Ooops...I overstepped a boundary

Sometimes it happens. Much of the time it’s by mistake. Whether it’s doing something to someone or having our boundaries crossed it never feels good. Following-up and clearing the air is the best.

The possibilities are endless

Just because one thing can’t happen doesn’t mean something else is out. Hitting a bump is a call for creativity. “I’m not up for that, but I’d be into…” is skillful negotiating.

Honesty is the best policy

Being truthful about your relationship status, your availability, and your sexual habits are the foundation of being a SoulPlay rockstar.

Check-in at the end

Having a clear closing is key to keeping your loves feeling cared for and respected. Honor them to the end and thank them for sharing themselves with you.

SoulSupport can help

When you attend SoulPlay events, look for the SoulSupport Team if you need emotional support, have questions, want to hear how to be smooth in your consent talk or need HELP.

See something that needs attention?

If you see or experience behavior that is inappropriate or out of line at SoulPlay events, please tell the SoulSupport Team or SoulStaff. We like to catch consent breaks early and often so we can prevent further issues.
SoulPlay is a playful place for connection, growth, & joy. However, not everyone will want to play with you. That’s okay. Here are our SoulPlay rules of etiquette so everyone feels at choice.

Talk to each other and get explicit consent before engaging in playful activities.

“Yes” means yes. Assume everything else means no. Hesitation or “maybe” means “no” or there’s something to clarify (see “yes” means yes). Ask questions, talk, make a counter offer.
A “yes” once does not mean “yes” in the future. Don’t make assumptions.

Want an interaction to end but you don’t know what to say? Our universal word is STOP.

If someone says STOP to you, that means play ends immediately. If you can, talk about what just happened so it doesn’t happen again. If you don’t feel comfortable talking, the SoulSupport team is here to help.
See the SoulSupport team (located in the main space near the info booth and with glowing green bands) if you need emotional support, have questions, want to learn how to be smooth in your consent talk, or need HELP.

If you see or experience behavior that is inappropriate or out of line please tell the  SoulSupport Team or SoulStaff. We like to catch consent breaks early and often so we can prevent more traumatic violations. (examples: lack of sobriety, you feel unsafe, you’ve said STOP more than once.)

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